She’s Gotta Have It- Defining Your Three Headed Monster

All hail “She’s Gotta have it” “Insecure” “Dear White people” and more. I finally feel like I am watching true representation of me. Correct me if I am wrong but the last show to depict educated, urban, black women was girlfriends. For years there has been a gap in our culture. Yes, I have my reality shows that I like but nothing beats a series to make you cry, laugh and scream all in one episode. Recent shows such as Insecure, and Dear White people are finally capturing the essence of black culture and trying to navigate this world. Finally there is representation of US!

Like many of us this weekend me and my girlfriends got our wine and watched She’s Gotta have it.  We laughed, paused and debated some issues, and a few times just looked at each other in pain when a story touched too close to home.

She’s Gotta have it- captured Nola Darlings struggle to find herself and balance everything while doing so. Director Spike Lee is a genius in showing the facades of a woman. I also really enjoyed how current the show was- even capturing the feeling of disappointment and despair when Donald Trump was elected. It takes a true genius (Spike Lee) to be able to capture these feelings with such rawness and creativity.

Nola Darling is a sexually liberated woman, she is dating and sleeping with three men and an occasional woman. Although I never had as many partners as she did at once it still represented much more than that. Nola used the three men as a way to build the perfect man. All of them catered to a dimension of her.

Greer Childs-  Self Obsessed Model/ Photographer


Geer is a model/ photographer who is literally in love with himself. He’s attractive and can get any women he wants.

Geer seems to have appealed to Nola, by being charming, cultured, and just sexy. He was the eye candy cultured jerk she occasionally needed.

Jamie Overstreet- Investment Banker

Jamiewas an attractive married rich banker. Although he was married his heart belong to Nola. Jamie was in his 40’s and Nola in her 20’s.

Jamie cared for Nola, the type of care to give her $10,000 for one of her paintings. Yes he loved her art but it was also a way to help support her financially. Nola knew she can count on Jamie to be a listening ear and support her.

Mars Blackmon- Sneaker enthusiast and Bike shop worker

Mars was my favorite. He rode a bike, loved hip hop and was quick with his words.

But most notable in every episode was how Mars got Nola to laugh. He was so funny and cute. He kept her happy and always wanted to see a smile on her face. He had her back in a different kind of way.

The three men each catered to one of her needs and made the perfect man! In society it is often looked down upon to be sleeping with three men but what if Nola is onto something. What if we could find partners who can satisfy each of our dimensions. I certainly struggle in this area as I date and try to find one man who is Spiritual and will have a prayer session with me, yet urban and hip-hop cultured  who will attend Made in America concerts and spit Jay-z lyrics with me, but still educated and will understand the ins and outs of navigating corporate America .

I obviously haven’t been successful as I am still single. But over the weekend Nola really got me thinking am I expecting too much from one partner. I think I embody all the characters above so I hope to find someone close to it, but is that realistic. Nola had a lot of issues but maybe finding a combination of Lovers might just be the answer.

Who defines your Three Headed Monster?

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