In case you missed it, a week ago I did an IG poll where people can decide if they were interested in a post all about my body, acceptance and my journey. Over 90% of respondents said “Hell Yes”. This told me two things- girl start the writing and 2- many of us have those tiny insecurities that we all struggle to accept.
This poll resulted because of the weekend where I wore a tight long sleeve velvet dress for a gala. The dress was tight with an extremely high split. I loved the dress but somehow when the day came I felt fat and that the split was too sexy. I walked downstairs and decided to embrace everything that was compiled in my dress, of course I had my cousins in my ear reminding me I was bomb ASF. Next day I woke up feeling so dumb that a rare moment of weakness even crept in my mind. I went on my favorite model Ashley Graham’s ig page to remind myself that full, sexy and bold will always be sexy.
If we ever met in person you would know I am stacked and fabulously made. Always been. Moments like above hardly ever happen to me. Not compared to years ago when I was little and wondering why in the world my boobs had too be so big and the center of attention. Growing up was hard, I was always thicker than the average. My mom never quite got it, as she was thin growing up and my dad has been thin his whole life. In an attempt to control my boobs from developing too much, I was banned from dairy products, and any food the news deemed was making people fat. I was never obese but as some people like to call it I was well “endowed”.
Get You Some Good Friends
Although I struggle with my insecurities in my head I never showed it. Very few knew how I really felt about my body. One of the few was my best friend who constantly shut down any ideas of me wanting to buy a bigger size, or anytime I looked in the mirror attempting to see how I would look if I took off some of this or that. This is crucial in helping you to accept and embrace the body you have. The people around you can make or break you. And that is with everything you do. You don’t need Yes men around you but you do need friends to uplift yo. With all my insecurities in H.S. I can’t imagine if I had friends that laughed at me and played at my insecurities as a jokes. My friends never did. None of my girls (and trust me I had a CLIQUE) ever made fun of me. If your friends are picking on you and not encouraging you or motivating you are they really your friends.
Get Realistic Body goals.
Let’s be 100% honest some of us have body goals that we will never obtain without some nip and tuck. We expect to wake up looking like Gabrielle Union and every day we don’t, we hate ourselves for it. Rather you are thin, fluffy or anything in between it is crucial to be realistic with yourself. I can do all things though Christ- But I highly doubt I will wake up with a body like Jhene Akio. I don’t care how much I work out. For my body type that is unrealistic. Yes, shes super talented but that doesn’t mean she is your body type. I can’t remember when the click finally happened for me. But one day I had to push myself to reevaluate and reprogram my mind as to redefine beautiful and sexy. I had to learn that my body was beautiful the way it was. For me I had to find women with the same body type as me and allow them to motivate me to accept who I was and even inspire me to be my best. Ten years ago it was hard to find thicker women in the magazines. But it has gotten better over the years, and now we have Instagram which is filled with some great body positive and fitness inspiration. Don’t compare yourself but love yourself.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 2 or 22, you can be healthy as long as you’re taking care of your body, working out, and telling yourself ‘I love you’ instead of taking in the negativity of beauty standards.”- Ashley Graham
Be Healthy not Skinny.
What is the obsession with skinny anyway. The goal should be to be healthy. I have seen some people way thinner people than me that can’t survive the training I endure. About a year ago I made a commitment to become healthier. Some weight fell off but I am searching for health. I thought it was crazy that I couldn’t run 2 mins without feeling like I was dying. What I really enjoy about Ashley Graham is her workout videos. I am almost sure she can train harder than most skinny women I know. Be proud of your workouts. Focus on being healthy and not necessarily skinny. Fall in love with what your body can do.
Don’t Be Hard on Yourself
Don’t be to hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can. Look I think it’s safe to say that life and time management can be hard. We have to excel at work, workout, eat healthy, maintain relationships with friends & family, keep God as the center of our life, and so much more. It’s hard to juggle all these balls with a smile. So be patient, be gentle and love yourself. You are doing the best you can. Smile Beautiful.
My body my way! Trust me everyone has insecurities. Don’t let it ruin your life. Focus on being Happy & Healthy and screw the rest!
P.S: This post made me go way back in my memory bank and caused me to remember some things that were painful. Forcing me to have a painful conversation with my mom. It went well and without me realizing it, it took some weight off my shoulders. Love you mama.